BATTLING MY INNER CRITIC
Friday, April 24, 2015
DECEPTIVE APPEARANCES
Thursday, April 16, 2015
ALMOST CAUGHT IN THE ACT
I’m always the wallflower at the party. Why did I agree to let Sue drag me with her to this shindig? Her invite wasn’t even from the hostess. Some “hunk” in her office told her about it, and now, she was off somewhere, flirting with the hunk.
Sitting alone at a table for eight, a weak smile pasted to my face, I wondered how these people had so much to say. Surrounded by loud chatter and laughter, I watched guests mingle through the crowd, smiling and talking. Even if I had something to say, my high heels were killing me, and the torture of standing up and mingling was out of the question. I knew I needed to refresh my lipstick, but I couldn’t even stand the thought of walking to the restroom in those shoes. That’s what I get for buying budget shoes.
My mind wandered back to the phone call this morning. This is Detective James. We have arrested a man who is stealing and selling identities. One of his files contained all of your information. We recommend that you contact your financial institutions immediately, and make arrangements to have the numbers changed on all of your financial records.At the time, the call had unnerved me. At the party, it gave me a reason to chuckle to myself. If someone stole my identity, they were probably having more fun being me than I was at that moment!
Turning my attention back to the party, I watched a pretty brunette woman in a bright red dress easily saunter through the crowd, greeting and talking to everyone she passed. I had looked at that red dress in the store, wishing that I had the nerve to buy it, but my practical personality, not to mention my checking account, wouldn’t allow me to pay that much for something that I would seldom wear.
Ms. Red Dress approached me. Are you enjoying the party, she asked with her bright red lipstick smile?
I bit my lower, unlipsticked lip. It’s a lovely party, I lied.
Her arm extended for a handshake, I’m your hostess, Laurie Ritchey.
But, but, I stammered, that’s my name!
There was a blur of red as she ran out the door.
My hunch about the identity thief had been right. She WAS enjoying herself…and I was paying for it! It wasn’t very amusing now.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
TALKING TO GOD
How blessed I am to have God in my life. I am not a saintly person, and God is probably not in my life as consistently as I’d like. I know God hears from me more often when I'm in pain than He does when I am feeling thankful. The love and hope I carry in my heart come from the knowledge that God forgives, God is listening, and God is good.
Lately, God has had to listen to me a lot. I’m a chatty person. Some of my friends probably get a little tired of all my chatting. Not God. God knows what is in my heart before I say it to Him. God listens no matter how long I chat with Him, and if I cry out to Him in despair, God wraps me in His arms.
Two weeks ago (has it really only been two weeks?), God blessed us with the birth of our fifth grandchild. Dylan Cooper arrived 3 months early, weighing a mere one pound, 14 ounces. His tiny body is riddled with tubes. I have praised God many times in the last two weeks, because Cooper’s parents were able (in the nick of time) to get to a hospital with an incredible neo-natal ICU unit and wise and caring doctors and nurses. The roller coaster ride we have been on for the last two weeks has kept me in close touch with God. One minute I am thanking Him for Cooper’s health and for his wonderful care-takers. The next minute, I am pleading that God be with Cooper and his care-takers, and that Cooper not have to suffer.
Cooper’s two older sisters (ages 6 and 9) have been staying at our house a lot, since their parents have been travelling back-and-forth to the hospital, which is 3 hours from our home. God often hears from me as I ask for the strength and wisdom to be there for my granddaughters as they struggle with their fear and concern for their little brother and their sadness at not having their parents with them. I often pray for the strength to smile for them, when my heart is breaking over news and worry about their little brother.
All of my strength and resolve broke when I came home for lunch on Friday and saw the reports of the school shooting in Connecticut. This horrendous event became the catalyst for the cleansing sobbing that I had needed. As I cried out to God, I knew I was crying for my grandson as well as for those innocent “babies” whose lives had been cut so short. I cried for my other four grandchildren, who were all in their classrooms at various schools around town. I cried for the parents of those children in Connecticut. I cried for all of those who had lost loved ones in such a tragic way. I cried for the teachers and children who survived this shooting and will live with the repercussions of having been there and survived. I cried for the shooter and his family. I cried for myself. I cried for all of us.
My heart was filled with despair. In the wake of this tragedy in Connecticut, it would be easy to feel defeated and to give up. As I cried out to God…”why” and “how” did this happen, I began to feel that there was no hope anywhere in the world, and I even wondered if God had abandoned us.
With a broken heart, I returned to my office. As I opened the mail, I found two notes from friends, telling me that they were praying for our family and for our new grandson. One writer said, “you probably do not know this, but you were a great help to me in a time when I very much needed help, and I pray for you often, and I’ve now added your grandson to those prayers”. I could not imagine how or what I had done to help this writer. I could only see that there were still good people in this world. God has not abandoned us. Someone had been praying for me, without my knowledge, even before Cooper was born, and many others were praying for Cooper and for our family now. My prayer became, God, help us to remember that Your world is not a bad place – just a place where bad things sometimes happen. Help us to remember that there are more good people on this earth than bad people (we just hear about the bad people more often). Help all of Your people to feel your love. Help us to give Your love to those around us. Help us to remember that we don’t always know who might be in need, and that a smile or a small act of kindness might help them. Help us to continue to hope, and to know, in our hearts and minds, that You are with us always. Help us to feel your presence in our lives, even, or especially, in the face of despair. laurie
Saturday, October 13, 2012
BIG GIRL PANTIES
Jenny’s prompt for Saturday Centus this week is, “The leaves crunched under my boots until they didn’t.” I love that sentence, Jenny.
FINDING BEAUTY
Susie said, “put on your big girl panties” I needed my best friend to comfort, not chide me.
I stormed out of the house and stomped around in the leaves, mumbling curses under my breath.
Thinking I heard a noise, I stopped and heard the beautiful song of a bird. I looked down and saw crumbled pieces of leaves surrounded by colorful whole leaves. I had so mangled the leaves that they no longer crunched when I walked. The leaves crunched under my boots until they didn’t. In the silence of destroyed leaves, I heard the bird.
Susie was right. There was beauty everywhere outside the path of anger.
Thank you for reading my contribution to Saturday Centus. For links to other contributions, go to Jenny Matlock’s Off On My Tangent. laurie
Saturday, September 29, 2012
BREAKING POINT
Sunday, September 23, 2012
IS THIS ROMANCE?
I was so fortunate to be able to spend last week at the beach, so I’ve been absent from Saturday Centus, and I’m late getting there this week. Jenny’s prompt, “Blah, Blah, Blah”, reminded me of conversations between many husbands and wives.
WHAT DID YOU SAY, DEAR?
I know I’m talking too much
I know his ears shut down long ago.
I know he can’t stand such,
But unable to stop, on and on I go.
~~~
It’s good he hasn’t much to say,
Because I consume all verbal space.
He pretends to listen day by day,
As he blankly stares upon my face.
~~~
Though he sometimes nods, and says “ah ha”,
I think that we have become a cliché.
Because blah and blah, and blah, blah, blah
Is what he always thinks I say!
Thank you for stopping by to read my contribution to Saturday Centus. You can find other contributions at Jenny Matlock Off On My Tangent. laurie
Saturday, September 08, 2012
IT’S ONLY WORDS. AND WORDS ARE ALL I HAVE…
Jenny’s prompt today, combined with my night last night, have led me to post someone else’s words for my contribution to Saturday Centus. My family surprised me with birthday gifts last night, although it is not yet my birthday. Jenny’s prompt is “It’s only words. And words are all I have”. Thanks for hosting, Jenny.
Can’t get a better gift than that!
Two of my granddaughters handed me the gift. The eight year-old shouted, “Gigi, read my card first”! I read it aloud.
“We gave you lites,
because you shine as brite as a star
in every place you are
You’re my Gigi,
that’s what you are, a star!”
Carly
Tears filled my eyes, as I hugged her, and said “it’s beautiful.” She said, “I wrote it all by myself, so I could give you something just from me.” I knew she was really saying, “It’s only words. And words are all I have”. I explained that she couldn’t have given me a better gift.
For Saturday Centus contributions written by adults, please visit Jenny Matlock Off On My Tangent. Thanks for stopping by today. laurie
Saturday, August 25, 2012
DO YOU WANT TO BE A ZOO VET?
For Saturday Centus, Jenny has taken us from famine to feast (neither of which have been easy for me to stomach). For the last two prompts, she has taken away letters of the alphabet and allowed us only one sentence. This week, she has given us 126 words, and required us to use every letter of the alphabet. Okay, I thought that didn’t sound so bad – until I started trying to include every letter in my contribution. I think I got all of them, but it sure wasn’t easy.
CAREER CHOICE
On Monday, she had to x-ray a bat, three cats, a monkey, and a dog,
She then administered shots to an elephant, two gators, and even a frog!
Then she examined the innards of two kittens, a zebra, and a jackass too!
While she quietly cleaned the office floor of elephant, dog, and bat poo,
She worried that her career decision had somehow gone askew!
Thanks to those who dropped by to read my contribution to Saturday Centus, and thanks for hosting, Jenny. Be sure to check out the other contributions at Jenny Matlock Off On My Tangent (and believe me, she is on a tangent). laurie
Sunday, August 19, 2012
RAP TO JENNY
I’m linking to Saturday Centus (I know, that’s all I ever do on this blog. I have to be prompted into writing.)
Our friend, Jenny, was on the edge last week, but this week, she’s gone completely OVER the edge! One sentence – again, but this time no “e” AND no “t”! My immediate response was, “Impossible”, but then, I knew there were others out there who would complete this assignment with grace, flair, and brilliance. Not me, but let it not be said that I didn’t try!
CRAZY LADY
You baaad, and I maaad,
and if you say, “How fun,”
I gonna say, “You crazy, hun!”
For other one-sentence impossibilities, go visit Jenny Matlock Off On My Tangent. Thank you for visiting me. laurie
Saturday, August 11, 2012
SHUT ME UP!
This wk’s assignmnt for Saturday Cntus is to writ 1 sntnc
Jnny, what r you thinking? Only 1 sntnc?. Oh No!
Gtting rid of “” isn’t so bad, but limiting m to only 1 sntnc to
say something cohrnt is just too crul! (Of cours, som may say
that I’m not cohrnt with 100 words.)
Without that “you know what”,
I’m afraid this is all I got!
So glad you stopped by. With a one-sentence limit, I’m practically speechless! This “nevah” happens to me, so enjoy it while you can. Check out other one sentence contributions at Jenny Matlock Off On My Tangent. laurie
Sunday, August 05, 2012
MY LUCKY DAY?
I am linking to Jenny Matlock Off on My Tangent for Saturday Centus.
Today’s prompt is a photo, plus 100 words in poetry. I’m not sure this can be called poetry, but a few words do rhyme!
LUCKY DOG?
I bet you think it’s my lucky day.
Do you think that, in the heat,
My humans made, just for me,
This bed of ice on which I lay?
~~~~~
I can promise you, that wasn’t their plan!
I was just doing my thing when
I hiked my leg on their chest of ice,
But when they screamed, I quickly ran.
~~~~~
I hid and watched them dump their chest.
Then, when they left to get more ice,
I slowly crept back in the yard,
And laid right down for a nice cool rest.
Thanks for stopping by. For other Saturday Centus contributions, please go visit Jenny Matlock Off on My Tangent. laurie
Saturday, July 28, 2012
ABANDONED BY MY MUSE
I’m linking to Jenny Matlock Off on My Tangent for Saturday Centus. This week’s prompt is “Please remit your payment promptly.
I’ve been abandoned by my muse, but I didn’t want to miss Saturday Centus. My sincere apologies for my contribution. laurie
Saturday, July 21, 2012
BIRTHDAY PARTY FAVOR
I am linking to Saturday Centus at Jenny Matlock Off On My Tangent. Jenny has given us 100 words plus the prompt, “birthday party favor”.
DON’T FORGET TO CHECK THE WATER BALLOONS!
We had been to five stores, but Matt couldn’t find a birthday party favor for his seventh party. Finally, I gave him money to go into the drug store alone. I was relieved when he returned with two bags.
Before they left, Matt handed each guest a small package.
Matt stormed into the kitchen. “I had to pay a man to buy the water balloons, because the owner wouldn’t sell them to me. I guess he knew they weren’t any good!”
My heart dropped when I read the word “Trojan” on the box he was throwing in the trashcan!
Thanks for coming to visit my blog. Please go to Jenny Matlock Off On My Tangent to find other takes on this prompt. Laurie
EDITED TO ADD: It has just been pointed out to me that I might not have read the prompt carefully enough (thanks Anita). Ooops! The prompt was “Birthday Party FLAVOR”. I will leave it to the reader to use his/her imagination to decide what flavor the water balloons were! Maybe I need to have my eyes checked for new glasses. (I probably just need to take more time reading the prompt). My apologies.
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