ALMOST CAUGHT IN THE ACT

I’m always the wallflower at the party.  Why did I agree to let Sue drag me with her to this shindig?  Her invite wasn’t even from the hostess.  Some “hunk” in her office told her about it, and now, she was off somewhere, flirting with the hunk.

Sitting alone at a table for eight, a weak smile pasted to my face, I wondered how these people had so much to say.   Surrounded by loud chatter and laughter, I watched guests mingle through the crowd, smiling and talking.  Even if I had something to say, my high heels were killing me, and the torture of standing up and mingling was out of the question.  I knew I needed to refresh my lipstick, but I couldn’t even stand the thought of walking to the restroom in those shoes.  That’s what I get for buying budget shoes.

My mind wandered back to the phone call this morning.  This is Detective James.  We have arrested a man who is stealing and selling identities.  One of his files contained all of your information. We recommend that you contact your financial institutions immediately, and make arrangements to have the numbers changed on all of your financial records.

At the time, the call had unnerved me.  At the party, it gave me a reason to chuckle to myself.  If someone stole my identity, they were probably having more fun being me than I was at that moment!

Turning my attention back to the party,  I watched a pretty brunette woman in a bright red dress easily saunter through the crowd, greeting and talking to everyone she passed.   I had looked at that red dress in the store, wishing that I had the nerve to buy it, but my practical personality, not to mention my checking account, wouldn’t allow me to pay that much for something that I would seldom wear.   

Ms. Red Dress approached me.  Are you enjoying the party, she asked with her bright red lipstick smile?

I bit my lower, unlipsticked lip.  It’s a lovely party, I lied.

Her arm extended for a handshake, I’m your hostess, Laurie Ritchey.

But, but, I stammered, that’s my name! 

There was a blur of red as she ran out the door. 

My hunch about the identity thief had been right.  She WAS enjoying herself…and I was paying for it!  It wasn’t very amusing now.